Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What drink are we having for lunch?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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