I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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