Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
