WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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