Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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