He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
