she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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