i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
