Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize