My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
