So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
