dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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