dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Michael Bay diarrhea
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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