if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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