ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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