she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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