It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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