guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
