It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
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