your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize