I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
