my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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