I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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