i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
