this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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