dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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