Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize