She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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