Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize