There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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