im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
