Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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