Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
