Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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