There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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