thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
