I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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