I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
4 words: hood of his car
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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