dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
