i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize