You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
