The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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