I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
