It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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