An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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