The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is wine microwaveable?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize
