If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you didnt know i had herpes?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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