I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
you never un-have a 4some
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
