dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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