weddingsv make me drug and hornr
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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