Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
