omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
