He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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