Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
