i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
