Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
