I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
