you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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