I bet he comes in French.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
