My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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