this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
