you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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