i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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