got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
