if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Is it because I queefed?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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