Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
