tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
