I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize