omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
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Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
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