Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Randomize
