You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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